"We're gonna be late for school!" - Ross Moreno
The year is 1999.
In Manhattan, New York, three eighth graders are walking to school. Their names are Simon Parsons, Ross Moreno, and Mark Springfield. Mark tosses his skateboard on the concrete and kicks off, speeding down the sidewalk. Simon and Ross stray behind, but not before Ross tries to catch up.
"Missed the bus again," said Simon.
And, as unfortunate as it is, they would miss school that day too. And forever afterward.
An intoxicated man stumbles into their path. Ross tries to avoid him and hops off the sidewalk, into oncoming traffic. You can probably guess how well that went... the collision is sudden and strong, lunging onto the sidewalk and claiming Simon too. Mark -- decently ahead, now -- thinks little of the sounds behind him, and makes it to class.
An intoxicated man stumbles into their path. Ross tries to avoid him and hops off the sidewalk, into oncoming traffic. You can probably guess how well that went... the collision is sudden and strong, lunging onto the sidewalk and claiming Simon too. Mark -- decently ahead, now -- thinks little of the sounds behind him, and makes it to class.
But fate isn't done with him. He sits at the front, as he's a bit of a troublemaker... and the overhead projector, a new installation in this room (and quite heavy at that), is a bit loose.
It falls.
But they aren't dead. All three wake up somewhere they'd only seen in their dreams. Confused. Unsure. But something is off about this new world. Something big.
... And that's how you confuse your players at the start of the game. It was great fun to see the look on their faces as I played a breakbeat hiphop track and told them they'd be starting in downtown New York. But as soon as the boys get isekai'd to another world, we phase into that other world, and find out what the party was up to at the time.
You see, these boys are not the members of the party -- but they're instrumental in the party's success. How? I guess you'll have to keep reading.
The world they phased to was that of Ocrea, the Northern continent of a planet known as Renda.
It is here that we learn their names. Our Hobogoblin Wizard is Valdulk Shai'Kolash, a quiet but no-nonsense practitioner of magecraft and wizardry. His companions are Magress Everbrown, a kindhearted, mostly-human-but-quarter-ogre Paladin in search of a Patron Deity, and Rhymus Tymeus, a human Paladin of the same description. Although in his case, a curse inflicted upon him ages ago has since corrupted his speech, and he can only speak in rhymes.
They're part of a world peace organization known as The Yggdrasil Corporation. Their first mission upon joining was to go to the Life Shrine of Lake Persephone. Here, they would be assigned a God of the Five Faiths, the faiths that rule the lands of Khistarga, Ocrea, The North, and the Aisles of Armen.
These faiths are the faiths of the Hellas, the Ostmen, Kemet, the Celtus, and the Settarans. The ritual was to approach the statue of Cernunnos of the Celtus. He would speak to the party one by one, and offer the Pot of the Gods as a way to pay tribute to those that watch above.
Magress went first. He waded into the pool and was instructed to drink, so he picked up a cupped-two hands of water and drank.
"Stick your hand in the pot, my son," said Cernunnos.
Magress stuck his hand in the mouth of the pot. Its eyes glowed with a brilliant gold, a searing pain running through his hand -- enough to land him 3 damage. When he withdrew it, the image of a falcon was etched into the back of his hand.
"You have been chosen by the Sun God of Kemet. His name is Ra," said Cernunnos.
Next up was Valdulk. He entered the pool and was instructed to drink, so he got on his hands and knees and lapped up water. Cernunnos thought this was odd, but bit his tongue. When he stood, he offered his hand. The pot's eyes glowed with a a minty, faded green.
"You have been chosen by Zeus, God of the Skies and Ruler of Hellas," said Cernunnos. Valdulk nodded, leaving the pool. A lightning bolt had been printed into the hairy flesh of his hand. That, by process of elimination, left none other than the Rhyme Knight himself, Rhymus. He stepped into the pool with jolly stride, dunking his head into the water to drink before being instructed to. (That's the kind of thing I have to stand and demonstrate, miming one of my players. You know, to get the full effect.)
"Uh..." said Cernunnos. "Right. Hand, my son."
Rhymus said something to him that rhymed, and stuck his hand in the pot. It glowed bright blue, conjuring a squealing laugh that bounced off the trees and rippled the water. A whopping 4 damage was dealt to Rhymus. Cernunnos stayed quiet as the Patron Deity showed himself in full. The man wore a tripple-horned helmet, which resembled the tripple-horned goat now etched into Rhymus's hand.
"I am Loki of the Ostmen," he said with a smile. "And I've claimed you, young mortal."
So we had our patron deities -- Ra, Zeus, and Loki. An honest and calm god of the sun -- a king of gods and winds, easily upset -- and a trickster god with nothing but mischief on his mind.
I was quite lucky with my DM rolls. I was hoping I wouldn't have two Gods of the same faith in the party, but I got double lucky with the Rhyme Knight landing Loki.
"Don't look over the DM screen!" - Me to Enrique, slightly angry
But the party would have to prove to the gods that they deserved these powers. The water of the pond turned to ice, the sky went dark, and the combined light of the three gods lit the clearing with a green, blue, and yellow glow. Three kobolds appeared atop the ice, and went charging.
The players got inventive -- these kobolds were tossed around, knocked over, beaten -- Valdulk was the first to hit, taking one down with a smack to the face.
One got the upper hand on Magress. Already wounded from summoning Ra, and wounded again in the fight with these fiends, it knocked him down and clawed at his back, biting him. Much damage was dealt, and as you know, at level 1, any damage can be lethal. Rhymus tried to come in and twirl his flail, aiming to hit two kobolds in one turn. He failed at hitting the one attacking Magress, and while decommissioning the fiend at his feet, he could not save Magress before the kobold dealt his final blow.
But Magress didn't go down without a fight. Lying prone, he got onto his back and stabbed the kobold with his javelin. Its tiny body speared by the weapon, all it could do was hang off the end, dying, and lob its dagger into Magress's head.
He hit his target.
Valdulk and Rhymus made quick work of the monsters. And Ra, being both a kindhearted god and fueled by the holy energy of the Life Shrine, allowed Magress to continue on. He resurrected the Paladin, but told him that he would not do it again.
Then the deities told their mortals what their powers would be. In broad sunlight, Magress would be able to easily find hiding enemies or hidden treasure. He would also get a +1 on all damage dealt while wearing a ruby, with 1 damage added per ruby. Valdulk would be able to see 120 feet in total darkness, and conjure strong winds in battle on a DC 12. Rhymus was given the power to throw his voice on a DC 12, and choose how it sounded on a DC 16.
Their first mission was over. Go to Lake Persephone's Life Shrine by following the river north, and then return to Gallanai, the "City of Acceptance," where all kinds of peoples (Humans, Elves, Ogres, Dwarves, Kenkus, Hobogoblins, and many others) live in harmony. They set off on their merry way, going back the way they came.
They traveled fifteen miles a day, walking along the side of the river. They were to go west at the second fork and continue until they reached the city gates. On the first night, however, they encountered danger.
Three wolves attacked camp that night (On the board they were giant toads, but that's neither here nor there). Valdulk figured something was up when he spotted Loki staring at them with a smile from behind a tree on the other side of the river, and he was awake with Magress when wolves tried to nuzzle their way into the group's tent. They'd fished beforehand, you see, as they were almost out of rations, and the fish they collected were quite tasty smelling.
The wolves sniffed, pressing their noses into the canvas. One wolf stood on his hind legs and scratched at it, trying to get inside. Magress peeked out the front of the tent and saw one looking directly at him with concerned yellow eyes. He backed into the tent again after tossing a fish, distracting two of the wolves.
"Can we see them through the holes?" asked Valdulk's player, Enrique.
"You can try to look," I responded.
But alas, they were too close to the ground. He started cutting a hole in the back of the tent to get a good look at the wolves so he could cast some magic, but when he started the sound was enough to draw one to the corner where it tried to stick its snout in the opening.
So Valdulk thought of a really clever idea. Magress requested he "Not harm these beasts, they're simply following their instincts." Valdulk said he didn't care, but he must have, because instead of freezing their paws, he cast prestidigitation and created the smell of cooked meats over by the fish that Magress had thrown. Now all of them were intrigued, and with Zeus's gift of wind, he gently blew the smell over the river and into the woods. They followed it and left them alone.
The next day, as night had taken over, Valdulk and Rhymus awoke to hear gibberish outside the tent. Two bipedal things were running around the tent, communicating in their almost-meaningless language.
"Goblins," he said.
One of the goblins went to the side of the tent and pulled down his loincloth, urinating against the canvas. He hummed a tune all the while.
"I cast prestidigitation," said Enrique.
"Oh yeah?" I responded, fully expecting him to say he would freeze this goblin's stream -- but nope.
"I'm gonna boil his piss," he said.
Me, standing, literally crouched with how strong I had laughed. Titus, Rhymus's player, laughed along with me. Valdulk locked onto his opponent and cast the spell.
The goblin shrieked and fell, belting death throes. His bladder was boiling, and in seconds the party (the party that was awake, anyway) could hear it sizzle and smell it melting him from the inside out. Valdulk decided that wasn't enough, however, and interrogated him by the river. When the goblin refused to give any answers to the angrily asked "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" he met his end.
But the fallen body of the goblin was maimed, broken beyond repair. Cooked, from the inside out.
"Should... we tell Magress about this?" Valdulk asked.
Rhymus was viciously shaking his head.
"Right. Dispose of the evidence." He froze the goblin and let it float down the river.
When Magress awoke in the morning, he was smiling. "A great night with no enemies interrupting our sleep, how grateful I am!"
Valdulk and Rhymus looked at each other.
But the fallen body of the goblin was maimed, broken beyond repair. Cooked, from the inside out.
"Should... we tell Magress about this?" Valdulk asked.
Rhymus was viciously shaking his head.
"Right. Dispose of the evidence." He froze the goblin and let it float down the river.
When Magress awoke in the morning, he was smiling. "A great night with no enemies interrupting our sleep, how grateful I am!"
Valdulk and Rhymus looked at each other.
They continued on the river (pictured above), casting the first level spell floating disk to get down a steep cliff, fishing again to replenish rations, and eventually camping once more in a heavily wooded area. I made a point about the trees being very tall and close together.
"I tell you my love, they'll come from above," chanted Rhymus.
I'm glad he caught on.
"I tell you my love, they'll come from above," chanted Rhymus.
I'm glad he caught on.
And attack from above they did. Three goblins hopping from tree to tree wanted revenge for their fallen brethren. Valdulk left the tent, seeing two hop down from above. Possessing the ability to speak goblin, he asks them, "What are you here for?"
"Bleaghhhh!"
"Ugh." He rolls his eyes. "Witchbolt!"
ZAP! One goes flying to the other side of the river. In the meantime, the other darts up a tree, and two try to jump on Magress from the top of it, daggers out. Both fail. Landing beside him as two stupid heaps, Magress goes in for the kill, missing one while the other hops past Rhymus and climbs again.
"Bleaghhhh!"
"Ugh." He rolls his eyes. "Witchbolt!"
ZAP! One goes flying to the other side of the river. In the meantime, the other darts up a tree, and two try to jump on Magress from the top of it, daggers out. Both fail. Landing beside him as two stupid heaps, Magress goes in for the kill, missing one while the other hops past Rhymus and climbs again.
The other goblin, still being electrocuted across the water, makes a lunge and stabs Valdulk in the arm. The lighting he casts transfers to each of them, causing arcs of blue to lick the air.
Rhymus readies his shield and goes running into the goblin that has grappled Valdulk. He knocks the creature off the man, and all is said and done with one last witchbolt. That leaves one left.
Magress was beside himself. "Where did he go?"
"As you can see, he went up a tree!" shouted Rhymus, readying his shield.
Rhymus readies his shield and goes running into the goblin that has grappled Valdulk. He knocks the creature off the man, and all is said and done with one last witchbolt. That leaves one left.
Magress was beside himself. "Where did he go?"
"As you can see, he went up a tree!" shouted Rhymus, readying his shield.
The knight went sprinting, colliding with the trunk. Goblin and he did a strength contest, to which goblin lost by 1. He fell from the tree and met his end with the blade of Magress's javelin.
Titus's face went dark. "Thanks for stealing my kill, asshole."
--
They finally came to the second fork in the river, and continued west to Gallanai. The riverside soon became a river trail, and started to populate with people. All kinds of people -- humans, ogres, tieflings, hobogoblins, half-orcs, and all the like. An ogre and human couple walked together, traversing the path to reach the top of the hill.
Rhymus put down his shield. "For a real thrill, I'll slide down this hill!"
He angled his shield and went surfing the soil, flying over the heads of the ogre and human. He went piledriving the dirt on the left of the trail, kicking up mud and dust.
"Sorry for our friend!" Magress called to the couple atop the hill. "We wouldn't want to interrupt your romantic stroll!"
The ogre laughed, and the human shook her fist. "We're not together!"
But when the party rejoined Rhymus and went on their way, a massive Silver Dragon took to the skies from the trees, flying to places unknown.
And from there, they came to the gates of Gallanai.
That was where we had to stop. The main story has not yet kicked off -- they only just got their powers and traveled back to "The City of Acceptance," but worry not. The drama is just unfolding, the greatest of locations have not yet been seen, and a deep secret lie within the confines of realms unknown.
Thanks for reading!
Titus's face went dark. "Thanks for stealing my kill, asshole."
--
They finally came to the second fork in the river, and continued west to Gallanai. The riverside soon became a river trail, and started to populate with people. All kinds of people -- humans, ogres, tieflings, hobogoblins, half-orcs, and all the like. An ogre and human couple walked together, traversing the path to reach the top of the hill.
Rhymus put down his shield. "For a real thrill, I'll slide down this hill!"
He angled his shield and went surfing the soil, flying over the heads of the ogre and human. He went piledriving the dirt on the left of the trail, kicking up mud and dust.
"Sorry for our friend!" Magress called to the couple atop the hill. "We wouldn't want to interrupt your romantic stroll!"
The ogre laughed, and the human shook her fist. "We're not together!"
But when the party rejoined Rhymus and went on their way, a massive Silver Dragon took to the skies from the trees, flying to places unknown.
And from there, they came to the gates of Gallanai.
That was where we had to stop. The main story has not yet kicked off -- they only just got their powers and traveled back to "The City of Acceptance," but worry not. The drama is just unfolding, the greatest of locations have not yet been seen, and a deep secret lie within the confines of realms unknown.
Thanks for reading!
Date played: September 27th, 2019
