From Demon to Daughter

"So who are you, exactly?" Valdulk asks the elf. 

"Oh," she says, standing straight. "I'm Miss Zimmy, ward of Godo. And this is Godo!" 

The old mage they accidentally killed had run into before nodded, clearly encumbered by his advanced age. 

"Mobile Magic Circle mages?" Draeden asks, standing from his meal with a bit of blood on his mouth. 

"From Mobile Magic Circle Inc!" says Zimmy happily. 

"Great." Valdulk clearly wanted to leave. "Can you take us to the Myzos Wastelands?" 

"Sure thing," she says. She and Godo stand together and open the portal together. Godo struggles on his end, weak and frail. "Keep it together boomer," Draeden whispers as he walks through the portal. Valdulk says nothing and follows through -- and Rhymus, on Trigore, offers Zimmy a pickle as he did with the last elf woman. She politely declines, upon which he throws it in her face. 

They get through as soon as the portal closes. 

The land they see is all swamp, the world covered in a heavy mist. Bogwater makes up every puddle -- mossy, graying trees take root in the sludge. It smells much like their soon-to-be-ready grog.

The mage on the other end of the portal was a Pockling (a short humanoid with red or blue skin, bald, and possessing deer or moose-like antlers) who wore a long green cloak -- long as in it dragged upon the ground for dozens of feet behind him. He smoked a pipe, and after a short confrontation where Valdulk smoked a bit of its contents (and hallucinated strongly), he went running toward the nearby village. The party, with their mission of protecting the village's river from being poisoned, of course needed to follow to ask around for some leads. 

They make it to the village in no time, taking note immediately that mages have installed anti-toxicity lightning poles into each end of the river, effectively purifying water as it passed through the beams. Valdulk made a history check to discover that he knew these were rare and not always effective, but it was all the village could afford.

Trigore plays in the water and startles two children collecting some in a bucket near the purifying poles -- a teenage boy and a little girl. 

"Children," says Valdulk, "We are here to defend your village. Might you tell us what you know of the witch who--" 

Just mentioning the witch made the little girl wince. Her older brother moves in front of her, shielding her from the party. "How should we know to trust you?" 

"Well, we're mage adventurers," says Draeden. "Isn't that enough?" 

He shakes his head. "I don't trust you. Magic is harmful here." 

"No," says Valdulk. He kneels. "Magic can be a dangerous thing..." He put out his hands. 

The little girl watches in awe as he produces a teddy bear for her with Prestidigitation, handing it over. She takes it cautiously. Then, Valdulk smiles, and transforms the bear into beautiful monarch butterflies. Their orange is a color unseen in the muddy greens, grays and browns of the swamp -- and they take flight. 

"But it can also be a wondrous thing." 

The girl is in awe. A smile creeps across her lips. She--

Loki strolls out from behind a wall, startling everyone involved. The boy, who isn't amused, is a victim to his schemes as he kneels down and pulls his lips back into a smile. "Enjoy the illusion, children," Loki jokes. "It's hilarious, isn't it?" 

"Stop it!" said Valdulk. He stomps over to the god, unafraid of his might, and shoos him away. Loki plays along and bounces into another dimension, gone as soon as he had appeared. The children, shaken, makes Valdulk feel as if Loki's mischief has undone his attempt to win their favor. All is somewhat fine, however. A bit angry, the boy protects his sister once more and points to the corner of town with their church. "Ask the priest." 

And so they do. The church follows the Hooded One, the God of Death in the Settaran faith. The priest tells them to look for giant chicken tracks in the swamp, for they will come upon the foul witch who has been antagonizing the village for centuries. 

They go into the swamp and do just that -- pushing past brambles of wet bush arms, twiggy tree branches, and stepping around as many of the deep puddles and bogs as they can. The stench is fetid and thick... the insects hiss and rattle, and fireflies are some of their only sources of light in the thickest of the wood. 

They eventually come to a clearing, flanked by two large trees. Rhymus waits for Trigore to stop being occupied with some mushrooms as Draeden walks into the clearing. 

Valdulk inspects one of the trees... and they attack!

"Whoa!"

Valdulk tries to jump back, but is whapped on the head by the one before him. They've entered combat, and Rhymus and Trigore are ready to fight. 

They make quick work of the threat, bashing them in with flame and blade until they're nothing but ash. The final hit on the tree that attacked Valdulk was by the effort of Draeden, who ran up behind it and said, "Wanna know what this axe is for? It's for chopping down trees!" before hacking it apart. 

Expending but a single spell slot on Valdulk's end and the rest of the party faring fine in the fight, they manage to find their chicken tracks. They follow them through the trees. Valdulk checks if they're an illusion... to which they're not. And they don't take long to find exactly what they're looking for. 

For you see, the tracks come from a large house with two bird-like legs. The witch in question isn't only a random magic user, but a figure of ancient legend. 

Baba Yaga.

"Ah -- so the chicken is an illusion." - Draeden 

"All chickens are an illusion." - Valdulk

They jump down a cliff into another clearing that contains a small pond and a ring of wet trees that flanks the outskirts. 

Yaga isn't initially hostile. They don't attack immediately attack, either. Valdulk tries to sweet talk her with the idea that poisoning the village was a great idea -- and that it was a wonderful bit of magic. There's a problem, though. 

She hadn't done it yet. 

He fails his deception check and she flies into a rage, angry that unfamiliar faces have come to upset her plans. They ready for battle (with Draeden throwing his spears into her house's legs, knocking her off the porch), but Rhymus has other plans. On his turn he busts out a rap, a diss track even -- and lays down some hard disrespect on the old angry witch. 

"Hello bitch witch, let me throw you a pitch -- 

 We'd like to kill you and drop you in a ditch

You think you can just poison a village? 

Without someone coming to stop your pillage?

But what-ho! You dubious, evil, vile hag,

Just throw thing head into the elf's bag,

Think you can defeat us with thine magic -- hah!

You harlot, that notion is tragic!

Use every little spell in your book,

Won't do you any good against our Valdulk, 

Found you by using the best Elven Map, 

He and his ancestor hit the double tap -- 

And ho, don't act so frail, your evil plans will fail!

You can't pierce my mail, so eat mine flail!"

(You bet your ass he earned an inspiration.) 

He used his Inspiring Leader ability as well.

Rhymus rolls advantage to hit, but unfortunately misses on both of his attacks. Baba Yaga (who seems to float inches off the ground) flanks Valdulk and tosses a potion at him. It shatters on impact, coating him in a thick green poison. He takes damage, and will continue to do so on his turn for the foreseeable future. In anger, he casts Chromatic Orb, and launches a blast of ice damage at the evil witch.

They fight on -- Rhymus making a few hits, Valdulk taking some damage, but Draeden jumps into her injured house and loots it, finding a small flask of silvery powder.

Meanwhile, outside, Valdulk says in anger, "I wanted a simple conversation, and you spit in my face." He launches more spells, but misses. They notice that when Baba Yaga moves past them, they're not able to take opportunity attacks for some reason.

Back in the house, Draeden lifts up her bed, and is attacked by a giant spider. It grapples him, but he breaks free. It scampers up the wall beside the window of the house, clicking its huge hairy fangs.

"I call upon my ancestral guardian!"

He appears, and on Draeden's command puts the spider in a headlock. Draeden backs up, sprints, and tackles the spider out the window, landing on top of it with his arm locked firmly around its ugly head.

Valdulk, still harmed from the poison, shatters the cliff that Yaga had fled atop of in the time Draeden was fighting the spider. It crumbles, boulders falling to the field below. Rhymus and Valdulk both take some damage from this, as does Yaga when she lands unevenly on her feet.

"I chromatic orb again," says Enrique, ready to take this enemy down. Valdulk lobs one of lightning damage at the witch, and only realizes his mistake afterward, when she uses the power to heal. He feels like he only confirmed his suspicions, since lighting had been arcing through her hair the whole battle.

Rhymus uses his Loki powers to go invisible and hop behind her. He manages to hit -- but she can still see him the whole time. Valdulk flanks her on the right, and as the two are closing in she lifts a potion above her head and crushes it, the liquid falling upon Valdulk once more and Rhymus for the first time. Rhymus escaped the most of it, getting it only on his shield... but Valdulk now takes double the poison damage per turn.

At the other end of the clearing, Draeden tussles with the spider for only a few more moments before crushing its hairy shell of a head. He stands, and sprints to enter the fight.

But Yaga is almost defeated. She can't take much more, with her lightning arcing in unnatural ways and blood pouring from her hooked nose. With a single chromatic orb of ice, Valdulk fells the villain and they emerge victorious.

With the help of the potions and Rhymus's Paladin magic, they heal up.

But there was a light coming from within the house.

Valdulk and Draeden went to investigate. Above Yaga's bed appears an eight year old girl, wearing the same garments Yaga had. Immediately they could tell that she'd reincarnated. Valdulk, hoping to raise a better person than the Yaga of before, tells her to come with them. Not knowing any better, only with the fleeting memories of where things might be in her walking house, the new Baba Yaga agrees to go with him.

They travel along the road (after Rhymus makes a spectacle of decapitating the old Yaga's corpse, or course) to get back to the village. Her body yielded a few of her poisonous potions and a special tooth necklace that seemed to have been what allowed her to avoid opportunity attacks.

But on the way back, Rhymus decides it's time.

The whole adventure, he had been debating on whether to open it or not. The "it" in question is a letter he's had as long as he could remember. Once upon a time, a witch cursed him to rhyme with every sentence, and he lost a host of memories from between the ages of 19 - 24 as well. He suspects it's from this part of his life that he found said letter, but he didn't know who'd given it to him or when.

He didn't get what he expected.

His letter, which he kept out of line of sight from the others, was written in a runic language he didn't understand... but with it came a host of new memories. A tiefling woman he had spent a lot of time with. She had silky black hair... did they used to love each other?

Draeden takes notice, and attempts to use his ancestral guardian to sneak a peek at the letter. It's not something he can read, however... so the rest of the party doesn't know what it says either.

When they make it back, they deliver Yaga's head to the village priest. A celebration is thrown in the streets, and Valdulk gives his spellbooks to the little girl they met before. Although she can't read, her older brother promises to teach her so that they can learn magic.

And from there, they return to Gallanai.

--

Date Played: October 18th / October 30th, 2019

A Changing Game

Rhymus is the first to awaken. 

He's dazed, confused -- it seemed like he had just fallen asleep and woken up out of the blue. He nudges Valdulk (but first, checks on the grog of course) and can't seem to wake him up. 

That's because Valdulk is within a realm of nothingness, pure black if black had no shape. Like space. 

But in it, he sees the god Ra of Kemet -- not his patron deity Zeus. 

"I've come to inform you that Zeus has withdrawn his powers from you, mortal." 

Valdulk is silent. 

"It isn't personal. I do apologize, but in this tangling of fates I have left you with my underling Anubis. I hope you do find his powers and guidance something you can depend on in your mortal's journey, my son." 

"I accept," said Valdulk. 

Ra dissipates, leaving Anubis. 

"Will your soul hold up to my feather?" - Anubis to Valdulk, his new patron mortal

Initially, Anubis's speech is only the huffing of a jackal -- but in this realm, they can understand one another psychically. "I am judging you," says Anubis. Valdulk accepts, and gains his powers. 

Back in the mortal realm, Valdulk wakes up to Rhymus's insistent nudging. 

But Magress is still asleep. He too ventures into the nothing-realm, seeing Ra. 

"You again," he says, not so happy. 

"You've lost your way, my child," says Ra. He opens a portal to a realm of vast glowing forests, filled with fungi and plants that sprawl into the powerful light of fairy magic. Trees tower into the sky, mushrooms emit light that blows across the sky like pollen, and the sun is gone, yet the time is that of day. Instead there only exists a crescent moon.

"Welcome to the Feywild, my son," he says. 

And together they go through the portal. Magress seems to have accepted his fate. 

In the mortal world, he had simply disappeared. 

Rhymus and Valdulk weren't unhappy about it. "I don't mean to be a bruh," began Rhymus, "but when he got sad he'd question Ra." 

"So who will go with us now?" Valdulk asks Dren von Sven, the elf coordinator of Gallanai's (quite small) branch of the Yggdrasil Corporation. 

"Well," he said, looking over his papers, "there is a patron of Zeus who--" 

The door of the establishment went flying off its hinges, landing on the stairwell across the hall with a crash. Standing in the doorway was an enormous (one could even say barbaric) elf, a dragon tattooed across his bare, muscular chest. Before the dust had even settled he looked upon his new companion, flexed his pecks (making the dragon move) and said, "Hey!" 

"Our new companion is an elf?" Valdulk looked at Sven, who was in quite a bit of shock. "Yes," he replied. "An elf warrior." 

Valdulk and Rhymus didn't quite like elves. Valdulk looks at Sven deadpan and says -- 

"Hey there, what's your name?" says the elf as he pats Valdulk's shoulder. Valdulk cringes from the contact, but gives him his name. 

"Ah. I'm Draeden, but they called me Drags back in the pack."

"I'm not calling you Drags," says Valdulk. Rhymus nods.

"That's okay, Draeden works just fine!" The barbarian was a little too cheerful for these two. 

"Well you seem to have taken Zeus's favor from me," said Valdulk, adding that to the list of reasons not to like this newcomer, "which means you must have traveled down from Lake Persephone. What's your combat experience?" 

"Well, I can swing an axe, and sword," said Draeden, "and on the way here, I froze a goblin's piss."

Silence. "...How?" Valdulk turned away. "By giving him the cold shoulder?"

Draeden looked down. "Ouch..." 

At this point, I realized the dynamic the group was fostering had left out Sven's opinion. I began to say he was looking at Valdulk and Rhymus-- 

"Rhymus is passed out on the floor," says Titus, Rhymus's player. 

Valdulk goes over to Rhymus and kicks him in the face. (He was just pretending to be asleep to avoid talking to the elf). "Your opinion?"

Rhymus stands. "They say that a party less than three is worse than a flea..."

"Very good!" says Draeden. He takes an Yggdrasil pin from Sven. ("Where will you pin it?" I ask).

He pins it into his chest. A trickle of blood slides down his peck, dripping onto the ground.

"You three are insane!" Sven says, shaking his head. He runs up the stairs and locks himself in the top floor. "Leave me be! You can carry on your mission without further assistance!"

"We can't, though," says Valdulk. "We need to know where to find Mobile Magic Circle mages to head to Myzos. He gave it some thought, and when they knocked on the door to ask Sven to let them in (and he wouldn't), Valdulk's player asked, "Can I cast Shatter to destroy the building?"

"No!" said Titus. "You'll destroy the grog!"

"Then we just need to break down this door!" said Draedan.

"Wait," said Valdulk. "He doesn't seem very cooperative right now. We need to make sure he'll do what we want."

So Rhymus rides Trigore up the stairs and has the goat bash its head against the door. Sven quiets, and starts to whimper in fear when the beast continues. Eventually they bust down the door and find Sven cowering in the corner. They approach him, with Valdulk kneeling by his side and running his fingers through his hair. "There there, Sven..."

The man shakes.

Rhymus sits atop Trigore, the two of them staring down Sven head-on.

The man shakes some more.

Draeden kneels on his other side, huge manly pecks in his face. "Listen," he says kindly. "We need you to tell us where we can find Magic Circle mages in the city."

"We also need you to draw a map of our destination," says 

Sven shakily withdraws a sheet of paper and tries to hand it to them.

"No, we want you to put it somewhere we can see it," said Valdulk. He points to Draeden. "Draw it on his chest."

"I... I don't have a q-qui--"

Rhymus hands him one. Trigore looks to the side and stares Sven down with one big, goaty eye.

Sven carefully draws a map of Ocrea on Draeden's chest.

"Write down the enemies we may encounter too!" shouts Valdulk, frightening Sven even more. "We want to be prepared!"

Sven looks down at his paper, tears in his eyes and whining from the fright, to position his pen away from the map and write - B I G   S P I D E R - on Draeden's chest. When he's done, Draeden says, "Now point to where our location is on the map."

He points to the Myzos wastelands, large dry mountains that enclose a fetid bog/swamp marshland.

Draeden pulls out his pin and stabs it there.

"Thanks, my good man," they said, and were on their way. Sven ran past them and sprinted out the (doorless) entrance, screaming as Lamerie came home from having gone to the markets. She gives them each a health potion and wishes them luck, promising to watch the grog.

On their list they see three possible Magic Circle mages: Senior Harlopps, Miss Zimmy, and Godo. They first try Harlopps, and see he's not where he should be -- so they trek to the other end of the city where Godo seems to be. They pass an alley by the exit of the city, when suddenly they hear a tiny, quiet voice.

"Draeden. Draeden, come here." 

Confused, the party stops. The tiny voice whispers again, and they follow it to the alley, where a tiny piglet is waiting in the shadows.

"Come closer," says the piglet.

Draeden gets closer and tries to talk to the pig, but suddenly it roars and grows three times in size, its gaping maw filled with teeth like a shark. It lunges at him.

Draeden backs up and calls upon his ancestral guardian.

(Draeden not pictured)

With no effort at all, the barbarians cleave down on the monster, splitting it in half. It falls in two pieces.

The others try to block this sight, as it had happened on a decently busy city street. Draeden bends down to pick up a strange, green object inside the pig monster's body. He retrieves it, and (quite hungry, I might add), begins eating the pig body to hide the evidence.

But someone did see -- a young elf woman with curly brown hair and a flowing red cape, and the man behind her. An old man, wearing purple with stars and long of beard. "Was that a whisper pig?" the elf woman asks, interested.

"A wha-?" Dreidan tries to chew faster.

"A whisper pig," she says. "It's a kind of beast that whispers to catch prey, and grows in size when it makes the kill. You can find whisper bezoars inside them, that's a potion ingredient!"

"She's just Hermione bro," Enrique whispers

"Uh," says Valdulk, unhappy that he's had to talk to so many elves. "Nice to know."

--

Who are these mysterious mages? What happens next? Find out next time!

TO BE CONTINUED...

--

Date Played: October 18th, 2019

The Goat Between Us

A nice night's sleep was earned in the triple-bed bedroom of Captain Dov's inn. The party was too tired to open their chest right away, and rightly so -- Rhymus needed health and rest, everyone needed spell slots back, and everything that had happened was just too overwhelming. 

In the morning, Rhymus ate grapes and only grapes for breakfast. Magress leaves the room to find an Artificer, but in the meantime Valdulk and Rhymus attempt to open the chest. He manages after a short while to find a hefty 106 gold and two decently large diamonds. 

"What could this chest hold -- why, it's a mountain of gold!" - Rhymus, even after seeing what was inside while underwater

But the chest was still heavy... Rhymus borrows a knife from Valdulk and tries to pry the bottom panels out to see if it has a false bottom, but breaks his blade in the process. On further inspection, he deduces that there isn't a false bottom, yet the chest still clearly has something else inside... 

"Let me look," said Valdulk. 

They lifted the chest and jangled it. Something with weight clearly bounced around inside the actual chamber of the chest. He put his hand inside and felt a cold, neutral magical presence inside. So, what else to do but tip it upside down? 

Valdulk angled the chest. Something that he couldn't see but was clearly heavy fell out and tumbled against the floor, landing a few feet away. "Great," he said. "Where did it go?" 

-- 

Back with Magress, who had climbed down the stairs looking for Artificer Vara (the mage that lent them the Deep Sea Suits), asked the old woman at the front desk of the inn where he could be.

"Ah, Vara," said Karindt. "He's on a mission." 

"Any idea when he'll be back?" Magress was impatient. 

"No, son," she said. "However long it takes." 

He went back upstairs to find Valdulk on his hands and knees feeling at the floor, and Rhymus stomping away at something he couldn't see.

"Uh..." 

"I'll go left," Valdulk said, crawling to the door. 

"Don't take this as a slight, but I'll be coming from the right," said Rhymus as he flanked him with his stomps, each looking for the item. They eventually found it, and with a large glass flask Valdulk scooped it up, feeling the magical presence jangle around inside. Rhymus had some things to say about the container -- "Are you dense? Would this even hold incense?" 

"I've clearly got it," Valdulk replied. "We don't know what it is." 

"We best be getting back now," said Magress. "To present our mission." 

They left the inn and bid farewell to Karindt, as well as Dov and Vara, who were on a mission to eliminate the other parasitical fish monsters. But upon leaving the town (and noticing that, even overnight, more trade ships were in the bay than before) Rhymus immediately cast Find Steed, and brought about a Fae goat as large as a pony named Trigore. 

And upon summoning the mount, Loki appeared once more. 

Before he could get up to any real shenanigans, they tried asking him what he saw in the vial. Loki was confused -- "You don't just see that small lantern in there?" They had their answer as to what it was, now, but not what it did or how to make it take corporal form.

Loki decided that he had better things to do, and simply told them to treat Trigore nicely and bounced. They needed to make it back up the White Nail Cliffs, and the only way was a narrow stairway. Magress and Valdulk got up easily, but when it came time for Rhymus, Trigore planted his hooves and refused to go up.

"I cast Speak with Animals," says Hunter. Magress, now speaking with Trigore, asks, "Why won't you walk up the steps?"

Trigore's eyes looked in different directions. "It's steeeeep... I'll faaaaaall..." 

"You've GOT to be kidding me," said Valdulk (in real life, his player was losing it).

Rhymus rolled well enough to drag the poor goat up the cliff, but when they got up there he froze up and fell over, rolling onto his back with his legs splayed.

They get to the Yggdrasil outpost, meeting again with the elf with whom Rhymus shared a pickle. She greeted them, and asked if they successfully completed the mission. "We did," said Valdulk, looking the other way.

"Oh good," she said. "What did it happen to be?"

Magress looked her in the eyes, shaking. "Deep... sea... parasites!!!"

She watched him in horror. "Oh my!"

It was clear he was losing his mind at this point... something wasn't right with Magress.

The elf mage opened the portal and sent them on their way to Gallanai, as it seemed that the Yggdrasil corporation had finally gathered the resources to contract other Mobile Magic Circle mages. They stepped through the portal and noted the man who helped open it on this end -- a mage with a purple pointed hat and purple flowing cloak, both covered in stars.

"What, is he Walt Disney?" - Titus

"Thank you, good sir!" said Valdulk.

The mage was shaking. "Springing Mobile Circle magic on a man as old as I all of a sudden... how cruel!"

Valdulk hugged him as tight as he possibly could. "Your role in helping our party will be remembered!"

The mage struggled. His back cracked with a piercing echo as he looked up at the sky. "Ohh..."

Valdulk hugged him tighter. "Good man!"

The man's back gave a final snap, and with the party about to let loose I looked up at my players (after rolling his con saving throw) and could only say, "...He's dead."

They collectively lost their minds at that. I wasn't even kidding, he rolled a natural 1 and didn't have the constitution to survive against Valdulk's strength modifier. But in their backpack, the vial was quaking around. Holding the limp body of the mage he murdered with kindness (manslaughter actually, I would say), Valdulk watched Rhymus withdraw the vial from their bag and watched as it shook with a bright blue light. It flashed, suddenly taking complete form as a lantern, and shooting light back into the body of the mage.

He breathed in, living once more.

"Wh... what happened?" He was beside himself with confusion. "My vision suddenly went dark..."

"Ah, you're fine," said a sweaty and apprehensive Valdulk, patting him on the back. "Off you go!"

The mage started walking away, emanating an unpleasant scent. He also walked with an awkward gait, as if... well, I'm sure you can tell. "I need to change my underpants," he murmured on his way to the bridge.

In the meantime, the group withdrew their newly corporal item.

"This brings people back?" Magress asked no one in particular.

"I have a thought," Rhymus began. "We only use it on us, and for others not."

"Yeah, yeah!" Valdulk fist bumped him.

"Well, what do we do next?" said Magress.

"There's only one quest that requires out skillage..." Rhymus put his fingers on his chin, eyes narrowed in a single direction. "We must stop the poisoning of the village."

"But first," said Valdulk, "we should gather some supplies."

And so they set out to the rest of the city. Valdulk accompanied Rhymus on his way to Gron with blacksmith, whereas Magress held up his tattooed hand. "Ra! Give me guidance! Where should I go?"

The sun shone down onto the path ahead, and Magress followed it to a bridge crossing the thicket point of the river. It was bustling with people, but a particular person (hooded, it looked like), stood from his seat and immediately chucked a knife at Magress.

He dodged and restrained the man. "Zone of Truth! Where are the Artificers?"

He was confused. "I don't know?"

"Alright," he said. "Next... does this hurt?"

Magress moves to stab him, but the assassin dodged. "No."

They continue their fight for a few short blows before the guards come to help. As Magress had cast Zone of Truth, they deduced quickly (by way of the head guard being unable to not tell them that he regularly sniffed his wife's underwear) that the assassin had started the scuffle. They restrained him and took him away, leaving Magress to ponder why Ra sent him in a direction that threatened his life.

--

Meanwhile, Rhymus and Valdulk come across a withered old woman. Rhymus kneels to help heal her, and when he does he discovers it was Loki messing with him all along. He gets angry -- Loki does mess with him quite a lot -- but they settle on an agreement that the next old woman Rhymus will see, Rhymus will punch (how they got there is beyond me).

"You again? Well, welcome back!" - Gron to Rhymus

They make their way to Gron's forge. Rhymus was able to haggle with rhyme and got their prices (for extending his flail and affixing Valdulk's arcane focus to his sword's hilt) lowered to 162 gold instead of the original 312.

At the same time, Magress is infuriated with Ra. Ra has rarely helped him out in times of need and has so far led him into the path of danger. Ra, being a merciful god, is saddened at Magress's words. He is busy, and can't often lend help to every mortal he watches over. But unlike the angry Zeus and easily-angered Odin, Ra is kind and gentle. He agrees to retract his power from Magress and allow his underling, Anubis, to lend him his abilities and guidance instead.

With the three having met up again after this, Magress discovers that with Anubis's powers he can come back from death (with a limit), and see the last three seconds of a corpse's life. He tests it out on a bit of meat in the market, and witnesses the sheep's last few seconds of life -- staring at a wooden wall while the cleaver comes down.

Valdulk and Rhymus have decided that they want to make grog, however. They visit a market stall where an elf woman is selling herbs, spices, and plants. They purchase a swamp root, a disgusting swamp flower, and a potted mandrake (along with earplugs). They also acquire the most important ingredient, a carrot-like "boil root," which gives the grog its texture.

They make it back to Gallanai Yggdrasil HQ, where Lamerie allows them to start the fermentation process in the kitchen. Rhymus tries to add his blood to the mix (Valdulk stops him), they plug their ears to kill the mandrake root, and overall successfully annoy the hell out of their coordinator, Dren von Sven.

Magress sits at the bar and contemplates his place as an adventurer. Did he want this? Can he still be a Paladin? What does the future hold?

Lamerie leaves to head to the market. Dren von Sven sorts through his papers, and the three members of the party continue to --

Suddenly, they feel lightheaded.

And... one by one, they tumble over, unconscious.

--

TO BE CONTINUED...

--

Date Played: October 9th, 2019 

A Dive to the Deep

That night, they heard fire outside the tent. Valdulk and Magress creep out to look, and see five naked Loki's prancing around a bonfire merrily. They smile at the two adventurers, and chant, causing the fire to grow.

"I cast Control Water," said Valdulk. They spill over a bit of bogwater they had retrieved from a standing pond and enclose it over the fire before it can grow any bigger. 

Loki was gone. 

The next night, on their toes now because of Loki's nonsense, they all awake to the tent lifting off the ground and into the air. They peek out again at four Loki's who had grabbed it by each corner and lifted it. Before they could act, the Loki's drop the tent. It lands on the ground in a heap, almost collapsing. 

"You really irked him this time," said Magress. 

Rhymus didn't respond. 

On their last night before traveling up the mountain, the winds were strong. Their tent blew around in the clearing like paper. 

"Loki again?" said Valdulk. "When will he give it a rest?" 

Outside, Loki was standing by the treeline, clearly visible in the moonlight. He looked worried, and backed off. They were about to scorn him, but then they saw Ra standing across from him and realized something bigger was going on here. Ra looked at the group, and knelt.


And then, the top of the tent tore open. The clouds moved in front of the moon, and Zeus appeared in the sky.

"My lord!" said Valdulk, not wanting to anger him. 

"Danger lies ahead, mortals," he said in a booming voice. "A smart man would take heed." 

"Listen to him," said Ra. "He is giving you his blessing." 

Loki shrugged and walked away. 

And that was all Zeus said. He was gone in a flash, the wind stopping in an instant. They were left with a tent torn at the top and the light of the moon as the clouds shifted back with Zeus's passing. Rymus went to work on sewing it up by hand, but Magress was quicker, and used a spell to tie it up in a jiffy. 

Rhymus's composure broke, revealing the player (Titus) beneath -- "Really? You're just gonna steal my thunder like that?" 

"What?" asked Hunter, Magress's player. "It's quicker." 

In game, Magress lies back down to go to sleep. Playing his sitar, Rhymus stands over him and strums, singing, "If I could, I would chop your body like wood..."

It lulled Magress to the realm of dreams.

--

Alas, they made it to the top of the mountain. A Yggdrasil Corporation outpost, which was their destination, presented an older wizard who gave them Yggdrasil pins for their clothing (it would let the public know they were adventurers for the organization) and conjured a Mobile Magic Circle, allowing them passage all the way to The Knuckle, which was hundreds of miles northeast. 

They traveled through, greeting the elf woman at the other end of the circle who was posted at the outpost atop the White Nail Mountains. (Rhymus kindly gave her a pickle from his stores of rations.) 

So at last, they made it. 

"They say the cliffs are the fingers of Poseidon, punching at the Great Whale that became Whale Island." - Jarra of Ovell, Mage of the Twelfth Expedition to the edge of the sea

A very narrow staircase cut into the side of the mountain allows passage below to the port city of The Knuckle. They climbed down into the seaside mist, noting a curious lack of ships at all the docks. Many docks were small, for yachts or canoes and such, but others were large enough to house buildings and shops, docking multiple large pinnaces and galleons. Yet it was quiet, and desolate. Only a few people walked about, and with the exception of an elf or two, they were almost entirely human. 

"Excuse me, lad?" said Valdulk to a young boy who was carrying crates. 

"What?" The boy didn't seem to like him very much. 

"Have you heard of anything strange happening here?" 

He sized them up. "Mages. From Yggdrasil?" 

"That we are, you're right so far," said Rhymus. 

"Yeah. Ships been vanishin'. Dunno why." 

"Do you know where we can talk to someone of authority?" asked Magress. 

He pointed to a larger building beside what looked like the town inn. They stepped into it, meeting Captain Dov, the fleet commander and town mayor. He smoked a pipe, wore a white tricorn, and dawned a long blue coat. "Yggdrasil, are ya?" 

The group confirmed, and he led them to Artificer Vara, one of the only mages in The Knuckle. A friendly man who also dawned a blue coat, wearing work goggles and craftsman's gloves. Seeing immediately that they were adventurers from the Yggdrasil Corporation, he gave them each an Undersea Suit, which would allow them vertical and horizontal movement underwater, gave them +1 to their AC, and would keep them from needing air during the duration of their venture, at the cost of five feet from their movement speed.

"The threat comes from somewhere ten or so miles out, and definitely from below. You'll need these." - Artificer Vara

Provided a magical Artificer's boat (with a simple motor at the back that "anchored" the boat when lifted from the water), the three dawned their diving suits and traveled ten miles out. It took nearly an hour. They left the misty air of The Knuckle behind them and found the great wide sea and its vast blue glory.

Then, once they hit the right destination (the Artificer's motor recorded their distance for them), they pulled it from the water and parked the boat. 

"Everyone ready?" Magress asked. 

Rhymus and Valdulk jumped in. Magress sighed, and followed. 

Their suits shone brilliant light from their porthole helmets, allowing them to see quite a bit in such dark depths. Valdulk could see more than the others with his natural (and Zeus enhanced) darkvision, and noted that they were dropping into an abyssal trench. 

"Boys," he said "It's about to get cold and dark..." 

"As if it isn't already," Magress quipped.

Beside the cliffs of the trench, they noted the remains of several ships. There were three basic ruins here. One side of the cliffs presented the group a bow and a stern, and the other a larger bow, each punctured with holes. They were newer ships, but looked to have been destroyed by something vicious. The group split and went investigating on their own.

On Rhymus's end, the inside of the stern yields a single large chest. With a successful strength roll, he opens it and peeks at a bunch of gold before heaps of seawater goes flowing into it. He closes it up, lifts it, and hoists it over his back.

"You sure?" I ask. "It's filled with gold and water now... it's dreadfully heavy."

Titus looks at me dead-on. "I'm bringing it with me."

So from thereon he was encumbered, and lost five more feet of movement speed.

Valdulk and Magress found little else on their ships, except all ships they looked at had holes as if blown apart by cannon balls... yet the edges of these holes were covered in teeth marks. On closer inspection, Valdulk deduced that it wasn't a large thing that bit out these chunks of ship, but a lot of smaller things.

"What could have done this...?"

Unfortunately, they got their answer. From the deep come four bright lights.

"To harm something so beautiful... your death by my hand is dutiful!" - Rhymus, to the monsters

Ugly, despicable deep sea creatures emerged from the darkness. The shape of an angler fish yet also a gulper eel, they were covered in glowing yellow lights and possessed each the body of a mermaid in their mouths, their corpses decayed and hinged within their gaping maws. 

"Foul!" said Magress (his player, Hunter, cringed at their description). 

A fight ensued. One lashed at Magress, and missed -- others bit at Rhymus and Valdulk, forcing Rhymus against the back of the open stern, Valdulk swimming around to find a better position. The fight raged on in the watery depths when Magress raised his hand and said, "I cast Speak with Animals!" 

And spoke to them he did. "What do you want?" he asked the one nearest him. 

When it spoke, it spoke in a chant of a hundred voices. "We... are legion. We... are hungry..." 

"I see," he said. "Well, there's no diplomacy with creatures like this." 

And fought again they did, slashing and biting through the water. Everyone took a few hits, but the parasite fish were not letting up. One swam up out of reach and opened its mouth. The lights on its body blinked, and it conjured a deep, haunting whine. 

Two sharks swam out of the deep. 

"They can mind control other animals!" - Valdulk, fighting them off

The sharks swim and chomped at the heroes. One of the parasite fish spew blood ink into Magress's face, blinding him for a turn. Valdulk created currents with Control Water, forcing them away from his position on the watery battlefield.

The dice box presents one space upward in the water when lying on its side, and two when upright.

Magress thinks to bash the fish controlling the sharks, and disrupts its flow of mind control. The sharks stop following orders, and swim around. 

"I cast Speak with Animals again!" said Magress. He had one spell slot left at this point. He pointed at the shark. "You!" 

"Hmm? Hmm?" The shark kept swimming. 

"Eat that fish beast!" 

"Scary," it said. "Scary fish beast." 

"But it's food!" 

The shark perked up. "Food?!" 

"Yes! Food! Eat it!" 

As Valdulk frightened one, the shark went toward its would-be captor and bit it clear in half, enjoying a mermaid-corpse angler-eel parasite meal. The other swam away in fright before much else could be done, and Rhymus (who had consistently failed to get away from being restrained but still managed not to get hurt by the fish attacking him) made a move of valor. The creature finally let him go and swam back, gearing up to bite into his suit... 

He tilted his shield, presenting the dull edge of it out before him. 

The fish swims and opens its gaping jaw, only to be sliced in half by the edge of his shield. The two halves of it split like a cut of meat, spewing black and red blood into the water in great inky clouds. 

One fish was left, but Rhymus's player had something to say:

"Can we keep the shark?" Titus asks me. 

"Keep it?" 

"We have a barrel, back home," he said. The others laughed. 

"These are like, great whites, dude," I tell him. 

"Yeah, it's not humane but we can put them in the barrel when we travel." 

I don't know where he got this idea. "Dude... the great white is not gonna fit in that barrel."

The last fish wasn't having it. It came swimming at Magress. "Throw the javelin," Enrique and Titus say at the same time. While that ensued their laughter, Magress launched his weapon and pinned the last fish against the remains of the ship, ridding them of adversaries.

Or so they thought. 

Dozens more lights appeared in the depths below. Dozens.  

"Uh..." Valdulk was flabbergasted. The shark swam away in fear. 

"What now?" asked Magress.

Another handful of lights. In total, around twenty-two more fish were swimming up to meet them. 

"Well, I think we found out what was destroying those ships," said Titus. 

So they swam from the depths, ferociously. Each of them made a roll on dex to see how fast they could go. A fish caught up with Rhymus because of his encumbrance, but they made quick work of it. The others were gaining. The blue of the sea came back into view, and so did the underside of their boat. 

"They'll destroy it!" shouted Valdulk. "Climb in and book it!"

Rhymus lagged behind. "I am nothing if not a knight... this will not be my final fight!" 

Magress and Valdulk got into the boat. The fish, a swarming horde quickly gaining, were now visible. Rhymus readied up his holy magic, and shocked them all with a bridging arc of electricity. A bolt of white static went frying into each and every one of their bodies, connected by the water abound. 

But so too, was Rhymus. 

He took the brunt of his own blow, absorbing the same double damage that all the enemies did. Shocked in the water like his adversaries, it looked like it was it for him... 

Magress and Valdulk pulled him out of the water, onto the boat. He was shivering, pain roaring through his body. His valor was a sight to behold, but it seemed as if the last few fish that survived the attack were going to make it to their boat...

When, from the sky, came Loki. Wearing nothing but his triple-horned helmet and a flowing green cape, he wailed, dove into the water, and conjured a massive iceberg. As it surfaces completely, they see that the few fish that survived the blow were frozen in place within it. 

"I take this as him saying, 'we're cool now,' to me." - Titus, out of character

And it seemed that they were. Magress tied the iceberg to the back of the boat and they set sail with evidence, a chest of treasure, and all their remaining limbs. 

Victory!

And level up, it looks like. 

The adventurers sailed back to The Knuckle, to which they were greeted by Captain Dov and given passage to his inn for the night.

First mission accomplished! 

--

Date Played: October 4th, 2019

Upon Settler's Path

 The party strolled up to the gates of Gallanai.

"Before we report back to HQ, would either of you like to hit a tavern?" Valdulk asked. "Mead or ale?" 

"I could go for a diet ale," said Magress, scratching his beard. 

"Diet?" Rhymus was baffled. "Be quiet." 

Rhymus, not wanting to waste time on local taverns in a city where he could finally upgrade his flail -- split from the party to look for a blacksmith. Valdulk and Magress agreed that a drink before readying up for the next adventure would be a well-earned treat. 

As you can see, I was prepared for their adventures. A plot was unfolding, for sure -- but more than anything an adventure is an adventure, something the players can choose. DM's need to be prepared! 

So on they went, to a tavern somewhere in the southwestern corner of town (closest to the gate they entered from). The closest option was also quite small, a homely hole-in-the-wall bar titled "Big Wing," where the sign above the door was decorated with, you guessed it, big white angel wings. 

Inside, the tiny barkeeper wiped down counters while his only two patrons; a hooded man counting coin and a snoozing orc, minded their own business as Valdulk and Magress strolled inside. 

"What are we having today, gentlemen?" asked the barkeep. 

"I would like diet ale," said Magress.

He stopped wiping. "What?" 

"Diet ale." 

"You're shit outa luck there, dude," said the barkeep. 

Magress was insistent. "Can't you just distill it? Put water in it?" 

"Oh," said the barkeep. "Sure can do. And you?" 

"Grog," said Valdulk. 

The barkeep collected their coin (one silver each for a small mug) and served them their drinks. Meanwhile, Rhymus enters Gron's Blacksmith in the northeast corner of town, wherein he pays a half-ogre to strengthen his flail. "Come back in the morning," he says to the Rhyme Knight, leaving Rhymus no choice but to join his friends in Big Wing.

"What can I do ya' for?" 

Then he spotted the barrel.

Rhymus tells him he wants to drink the entire barrel of grog. In case you didn't know, grog is quite disgusting. It's soupy, thick, smells of dirt and grime, and tastes twice as bad as that. "If you drink that whole barrel," the bartender began, not believing him, "I'll give you two gold."

  

"I'll finish it," said Rhymus. "My mother didn't raise no bitch, I'll lift this barrel without a hitch." 

And he drank. All of it. The orc awoke from his nap to watch, pounding on the table with joyous cheering. But so much grog was quite the task for Rhymus, and when he was done he still had to speak in rhymes but couldn't form coherent thoughts. With a belch, all he could manage was "Dog... frog..." before passing out on the counter.

So Valdulk conjured a floating disk for him and they left the shop two gold richer. Rhymus even got to keep the barrel. They walked along the city streets, the sight of a drunk person aided by a mage's magic not at all out of the ordinary. "I want to go to an artificer's shop," said Valdulk, "but I don't quite know where one would be." Magress, who was born and raised in Gallanai, knew where it was. But when asked to tell him, Magress smiled and said, "I think you're forgetting the magic word..." 

"I could say the real one," responded Valdulk "but it's very deadly." 

Rhymus was too drunk anyway. In fact, he was so drunk they felt they needed to take him to a clinic. This might have been because Titus, Rhymus's player, said so -- or it might have been because Rymus failed a constitution saving thrown and threw up in his helmet, vomit spewing from the grille of his mask like soup. "I don't mean to be a drag," he croaked, "but do either of you have a rag?"

Magress withdrew a very fine looking handkerchief and handed it over. Not quite realizing what Rhymus needed it for, he began to wipe before he could get a word in edgewise. 

"That was my mother's -- oh." 

Family heirloom destroyed.

--

Their journey to a clinic brought them back on track to the Yggdrasil Gallanai HQ, as the only clinic near them was closed and they started not to care very much about Rhymus's well being. They came to a branch-off creek bridge where several kids were playing on the other side of the water. They kicked their ball over, to which Magress returned it. 

"Thanks, mister!" said the tiny orc girl. 

"No problem," he said to her. 

Rhymus approached them. "I do say I have an offer for faux danger and peril -- who wants to go for a ride in this barrel?"

The elf boy raised his hand, jumping up and down. "I do! I do!" 

Rhymus let him climb inside so he could roll him down the short hill. However, the stench of the grog was so foul, so vile, that the boy climbed back out at the speed of sound and blew his lunch into the stream. The other children with him, the orc girl and human boy, went screaming and ran. He followed, still throwing up. 

"Damn," said Magress.

They made it to the Yggdrasil Gallanai HQ, a homely three-cottage complex in which a large palm tree, its leaves folded as if to look like a small copy of the Yggdrasil tree itself, was planted in the center of the roof. Inside was Dren von Sven, an elf coordinator who was happy to see them back. He recorded their Patron Deities onto official documents (Remember -- Valdulk: Zeus, Magress: Ra, Rhymus: Loki) and told them of the HQ's free food, ration stock, and bedrooms. 

But Rhymus wouldn't stop talking over him, pointing out his race as an elf, and just generally being a jerk. With prestidigitation (what else is new?) Valdulk conjures a strip of tape and slams it over his mouth. With him bumbling behind closed lips, Dren von Sven gives them the option for three missions: 

1. Protect the villages in the Myzos Wastelands, as a magic user of unknown origin has threatened to poison the rivers -- 

2. Aid Fort Flynight in the protection of Ocrea from the forces of the North for three days and three nights -- 

3. Determine the cause of the missing ships at The Knuckle's ports, as the lack of trade is causing food scarcity. 

"We should aid Fort Flynight," said Valdulk. "It is the most logical." 

"In my opinion," said Dren, "I would go for one of the other two. Flynight only needs your help for three days this whole month, whereas a caster is a person and may poison water at any time -- and missing ships cause scarcity, and make all of us go hungry." 

That settled it for the group, as the continent of Ocrea was just too big a thing to let go hungry. The Knuckle's ports are one of the largest trade stations in the world, so if there is a problem there it needs to be dealt with. They got paid 300 gold (100 gold each) in advance for their efforts, and would get paid a gold piece a day so long as they don't leave the continent. 

As night fell, Magress went to go look for a vendor to purchase rubies from. His Patron Deity, Ra, imbued him with power to make stronger hits when wearing them, and as of yet he had none. He stumbled into an alley, where two stalls were selling carved bone keepsakes and gemstones (respectively).

"You can't handle my rubies!"

"I do say, sir," Magress said to the gem seller, "do you have any rubies?" 

"That I do, dear customer," said the shady gem seller, a very short, scrawny hooded man. He pulled up a large chest and dropped it on the table, clicking it open. Six small rubies and three large rubies sat within a leather casing, gleaming red in what little light penetrated the alley shadows. "How many?" he asked Magress with a grin. 

"Only one, my dear friend." He moved to grab it. 

The seller snatched the chest away. "752 gold." 

Magress absolutely did not have the funds. "Is there anything I can do to get a discount?" 

The gem seller looked around. "Don't tell a soul." 

"I won't," said Magress. 

The seller led him to a trapdoor in the alley, climbing down a ladder. It led to a small room with only a bed, a cabinet, and an almost-overflowing chamber pot. The stench was unbearable. 

The gem seller moved toward the cabinet, opened it, and the corpse of a tiefling woman fell out like a bundle of wood. "Bury her," he said. 

Magress picked up the corpse. He gulped. "S-sure."

But Ra was watching. Ra did not like this at all, and Magress could tell. 

They wrapped her in his bed sheets and climbed back up. The man went to his stall in a hurry, as there was no way to disguise what was certainly a body. On a successful dex roll, Magress dropped the body and booked it, bumping into Valdulk as he crossed a bridge. 

"Magress?" Valdulk asked. He was winded. "What's wrong?" 

"I -- I, uh, I--" 

Suddenly, a horde of guards began swarming the alley.

"Back!" shouted the ruby seller, pinned against the wall by the point of a dozen guardsman's spears. "Back, I say!" 

"You're wanted for the murder of... uh..." 

One of the guards looked at him. "Who again?" 

"This... random... tiefling woman! How dare ye!"  

But the ruby salesman had one last trick up his sleeve. He withdrew a small item from the sleeve of his coat and threw it upon the ground, vanishing in a shroud of smoke.

Meanwhile, Rhymus had ordered three whole pig troughs of mess hall stew, which was a thick, congealed, brown mud soup with cuts of carrots and other unknown ingredients. The orc cook, Lamerie, was beyond amused at his willingness to just consume troughs and troughs of a very foul dinner. 

Valdulk and Magress walked in then, and they seemed winded. "What happened to you two?" asked Lamerie. 

"We managed to secure a ruby," said Magress, which was true -- Valdulk managed to convince the head guard, a half-orc named Brova, that it was suspicious. Brova allowed him to secure it for study, but wanted it back (along with all of the other gemstones) in three days' time. The bone carver offered to make a fake by sundown. 

And then... Loki appeared. 

Rhymus and he did their handshake, which consisted of as follows: 

- A slap with the palm,

- A slap with the back of the hand,

- Fist bump! 

- Alligator chomp down on one's companion's arms,

- Grabbing one another's arms with both of one's own and slowly drawing them back whilst wriggling one's fingers. 

- Ho down! To the left! 

- Ho down reverse, to the right! 

"My patron mortal," Loki said with a relish, "What are thou up to on this fine evening?" 

 "Eating this slop," said Rhymus, "before I drop." 

That made him laugh. 

As night fell, Valdulk and Magress ventured back to the bone carver. He handed them a ruby that, upon closer inspection, looked exactly like the one they snagged. It cost a pretty penny - 30 gold, in fact, but it was worth it. 

"Hey boys," they heard. A tiefling woman, dressed in... very little, approached them with a smile. "Either of you two want t--" 

"No," said Valdulk. 

She was stumped. "No?" 

Magress left in a hurry. "If we stay any longer we may get caught at the scene of the crime!" 

And so they left. 

--

In the morning, Valdulk traveled to the Guardsman's House and gave Brova the fake ruby. Brova congratulated him on his honesty, and gave him a pat on the back. 

Although they had been given rations, Rhymus wanted to go purchase his own food. He managed to get a few cuts of meat and fruit, but the stalls were quite barren. That served to strengthen his resolve about choosing The Knuckle -- if the ships were truly sailing, then the markets would be full.

They set off on Settler's Path, the path that the founders of Gallanai traveled down when escaping persecution. Up in the mountains there would be a mage who could conjure them a Mobile Magic Circle, which would teleport them across the continent to The Knuckle. The Yggdrasil Corporation could only afford a few of these mages, so they were stationed only at specific locations. 

On the third day of their travels, Loki shows them a small path into the trees. "I suggest you go here," he said, smiling. "It is a shortcut." 

"It is not," said Valdulk. "You're trying to trick us." 

"Now, why would I ever do that? Just go down there... see what you find..." 

They refused. Rhymus stepped out and said, "You can't even try to blow us off course -- we're not like you to &%$@ a horse!" 

Loki's eyes went wide. He approached Rhymus and stared him down, furious. "What did you say?" 

"You heard me, Loki. Your love life is hokey." 

The forest suddenly turned into a black void, every tree in sight burning with red fire. Loki's voice boomed. "I WILL NOT BE DISRESPECTED IN THIS WAY, MORTAL! I WITHDRAW MY POWERS FROM YOU!"

And like that, he vanished...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Date Played: October 4th, 2019